Pronouns are interesting because we only really have binary pronouns. Without pronouns people have to repeat your name over and over again. Its awkward speech without pronouns and its awkward with pronouns. I started noticing that I was bothered by strangers using female pronouns all the time. I was refreshed when people have to look at me a couple of times to determine if I am female or if I am male. I found myself hurt that almost no one uses male pronouns with me. I almost never hear male pronouns. With my lovers I ask that they try to mix up my pronouns, although that’s hard for them. Even as Izzy they both struggle with using male pronouns. They don’t impose gender roles but for sure they struggle with using male pronouns. Maybe its their own struggle with understanding sexuality and gender….what lesbian loves men? I know that they try to balance the two with me but I realize our culture doesn’t support people like me.
Month: January 2015
Masculinity
At this point I don’t think synthetic hormones are WRONG, but I don’t think I should have to take them in order to be seen as male. Rather I believe in other options and I don’t want to be seen as male ALL the time. Still there are times I like being a woman and truly appreciate my femininity but only when I have plenty of masculine expression. Finding a way to fully express my masculine side is the struggle. For some unknown reasons living every day as simply a butch female just isn’t masculine enough.
