MY GENDER EXPRESSION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION! Other than the fact that by changing my gender expression would therefore change my orientation by our cultures standards. But for me gender expression is my way of expressing that gender is beyond the binary. Removing gender from our world would completely eliminate the need for sexual orientation. But when I gender bend I am not doing it because I am HORNY or because I want to attract women. I am doing it because I need to express the masculine side of me that feels oppressed by our very binary world. My gender expression goes way beyond the bedroom.
Tag: dyke
Masculinity
At this point I don’t think synthetic hormones are WRONG, but I don’t think I should have to take them in order to be seen as male. Rather I believe in other options and I don’t want to be seen as male ALL the time. Still there are times I like being a woman and truly appreciate my femininity but only when I have plenty of masculine expression. Finding a way to fully express my masculine side is the struggle. For some unknown reasons living every day as simply a butch female just isn’t masculine enough.
The Finale
This was the finale and I had promised two performances to Eartha, the scheduling Queen. About 3-4 days before the show a queen contacted me about doing a performance together, as Gomez and Morticia Addams. I was very intrigued since I love to work with people more than alone, I find its more creative. I was excited to do this with BellaDonna – although anxious that we didn’t have much preparation time. Anyway, it made 3 performances in one night, that’s a busy night!
Transman
Anyway as far as extreme on either side of the gender spectrum makes me feel constricted, tied up, or even fake in some ways. Often if someone is too much of one side I find that I feel that their fake, maybe I am judgmental, but I don’t trust everything they do for that reason. For me, I just can’t stay on either side to heavily I get wiggly and I can’t sit still. I always break the gender rules – yah I am a butch gardener farmer type, yah I plant little flowerly fairy gardens!! See I break them all the time, I just keep stretching out and crossing boundaries.
Izzy Ahee 