Yet ANOTHER reason I don’t want to choose… It seems to be that the pressure to choose actually forces us into the inequality of gender throughout our world. In fact, many mtf transpeople struggle with stepping down into the tough world of being a woman. You can find this in their books and in honest conversations with them. They even have to learn how to be less aggressive and not so strong….Now for the ftm transpeople that I know they just seem to disapear in the power of being a man, and often hide their gender bending personality, even though most of them still have vaginas and expect to be included in women’s activities, simply because they might be treated LESS like a man… Now what does that mean?? As I find myself in an office job I know EXACTLY what that means as I stand between being a man and a woman!
Women are for sure seen as the weaker gender, needier, less stable, less consistent, less strong, less aggressive, and so on. Women have to work twice as hard to prove themselves to …… MEN! What the fuck???!!!! This type of stuff makes me angry as I believe the only way to live is in equality and that your genitalia should have nothing to do with what people expect from you.
So this leads me to transitioning which again leads me to refuse to CHOOSE a gender. Although society usually chooses one for me… I refuse to choose one. Choosing one only adds to the inequality of gender. Why does it matter? Why should I choose, if choosing will only have you expect certain things from me… but what if I fail as a man… what if I cry because I am frustrated… what if I am weak, what if I like purple or pink, what if I like flowers!!! But if I choose woman the same things happen… what if I like fishing, what if I like to wear mens clothes, what if am strong, what if I like women?? So all of this leads me to the same place, why oh why does GENDER have ANYTHING to do with what you expect from me??
So to International women’s day…. well part of me is a woman and I cannot transition because I feel as though I am backstabbing the women out there fighting for equality…you don’t see men out there fighting for it… LOL! So does that make me a woman, because I am joining the fight for equality? I am sure there are some men joining up in this fight, but the majority of them only pretend to really care. But from their point of view women are treated fairly, and infact are babied and “taken care of”. Infact, many of them believe that THEY are treated unfairly because they are EXPECTED to be strong, tough, and not show emotion. This whole inequality thing is fascinating, isn’t it??
So if both sides of the gender feel like they are being treated unfairly… WHY DO WE HAVE GENDER?? Let’s just get rid of it…throw it out the dam window and let’s get on with life. I WISH it was that simple, but instead there are a lot of men and women out there that just aren’t comfortable with changes like that…likely because they wouldn’t know what to do with THEMSELVES!!
Either way, I still desire to join the women in their fight for equality as it could be a step towards total equality and the eradication of gender all together. Although, I am not sure this is the way its more than my genderqueers and transgender friends are doing. I know there is a transgender day, but they are fighting for the rights to transition and that insurance will cover their sex change costs and other related rights. Although I do think if someone insists on getting a sex change they should be able to get it I still think there needs to be a revolution for the eradication of all gender. True equality will happen when there is no gender to choose.
You must admit that you would be interested in finding out how many people still choose to transition if there was no such thing as gender…would it be necessary. And who is sick…Gender Neutral people or society?? I feel like I am out fighting this battle on my own, no groups, no activist movements, no genderqueer day, no mentors….just me waving my hands and saying “hey wait a minute- that’s not what we want either” to the transgender community that continues to subscribe to the gender inequality, even though they don’t fit into it either…but they keep trying!!
So how do you feel…do I still participate in women only activities? Do I miss out on these social events because I don’t completely subscribe to being a woman… or do I just enjoy both men/women? Think I could get a genderqueer group going in this city??? Hmmmm….