So as I explore the gender spectrum and find my place inside it… I have been asking myself why some transitioned or transitioning people make me uncomfortable. Besides the obvious that they often assume I must choose one of the binary but also it just seems to me that they are in the closet. Often they want to pass as whatever gender they have become and they try to hide whatever gender they were in the past. But often, after a few years as their new gender they realize that they are both and neither gender, therefore, they are still not fitting into the rigid binary system. So my issue isn’t with the person, it’s actually with the system itself.
The system has forced these people into one side or the other, even the therapy. They therapy itself tells them to make up stories about being the child of their new sex/gender. I have also explored the transgender groups and conferences in my area and have found again that they talk a lot about transitioning and say nothing or very little about dual or neutral gendered people. Again, they are submitting to the binary system of gender. I just can’t do it and instead I just want to help people understand why sex and gender are seperate and explore finding a name and pronouns for the other genders in our society. If a 3rd and 4th or even 5th gender were introduced in our society I would be interested to find out how many people would still transition.
I have found the book “Gender Outlaw- On Men, Women, and The Rest of Us” by Kate Bornstein ” to be right on mark about gender and the rest of it.