So in my exploration of gender, dysphoria, transgender, and other gender related issues I have discovered that most people tie their genitalia to their gender. Buck Angel has talked about this in his intellectual talks about transgender issues. This is interesting in that even transpeople often still have this identity. So if you have a vagina and tits, you are assumed to be female and visa versa. But this is understandable since this starts at birth. When someone has a baby the doctor announces the gender immediatly, its part of the tradition and celebration, when the doctor identifies the genitalia. They do it also when giving a pregnant person the ultra sound, often the doctor asks if you want to know the “gender” of your child. Again, this is how it all begins. Then later as that child grows parents make it clear that due to their genitalia they are to play with certain toys, participate in social activities a certain way, wear certain clothes, and so on. Now I believe that female bodied people behaving more masculine have it easier than the male bodied people behaving more feminine have it. A female bodied person is referred to as a tom boy if they play with “boys toys” and wear “boys clothes” and maybe they don’t like dresses. But a male bodied person is often called a sissy or other words that I don’t think I need to be clear about on a blog. The thing is….I feel like I am male bodied person whom is sometimes a sissy and sometimes a tom boy. But I am actually a female bodied person at this time.
Anyway, because of my feelings I will likely take Testosterone in the future and eventually have my breasts removed. This will help me feel better about myself and my social interactions with the world. But for now…until I can get all the doctors and so forth lined up I must endure that everyone will assume I am simply a “tom boy” This is often annoying to me and frankly I find it offensive that due to be genitalia I have been assigned as female. Why does our genitalia have so much to do with our gender. Even the words are related.
When I was listening to Buck Angel talk about gender an so forth and how he explained that genitalia and gender are not related it all just clicked for me. That’s exactly how I feel. Is this because both Buck and I have pornography in common, we have both been in numerous adult films…. does this experience help us seperate our genitalia from our gender somehow? If we can do that maybe we can help other transpeople with their own dysphoria. Frankly I think it would be a happier life to be at peace with all of your body, right? Maybe Buck can change the world like his wife believes… either way I know he has changed my life! I KNOW that taking T and removing my breasts will be needed in order for me to live a filled and happy life – and that my vagina won’t be anyone’s business but me and my partner. 🙂
My breasts have always been simply baby feeding bags, that are outdated and in the way. My child is now 18yo. They are NOT sexual organs to me and never have been.
Anyway, this is just my random thoughts on gender and genitalia…so for now this is how I view things.