Being MisGendered is no fun! I am constantly provoking a “she” from most people with the occasional “he” when I am dressed as Izzy. A lot of times I appear androgyne, these days at least, so many people stumble over pronouns but most people use “she”. I have large breasts and they are hard to…
MY GENDER EXPRESSION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION! Other than the fact that by changing my gender expression would therefore change my orientation by our cultures standards. But for me gender expression is my way of expressing that gender is beyond the binary. Removing gender from our world would completely eliminate the need for sexual orientation. But when I gender bend I am not doing it because I am HORNY or because I want to attract women. I am doing it because I need to express the masculine side of me that feels oppressed by our very binary world. My gender expression goes way beyond the bedroom.
Drag has changed my life! It is part of my gender expression. Being a Drag King is part of who I am.Not only has it introduced me to some pretty dam amazing people but it has also given me an outlet. A real honest to god outlet that feels good in a way that leads me to more balanced places. Izzy keeps me sane! For now as I try to get involved in my new city I know that I will be lead to good places. Maybe this whole experience will help me understand myself on a deeper level. Either way it could support my journey in some way that I don’t see yet.
Pronouns are interesting because we only really have binary pronouns. Without pronouns people have to repeat your name over and over again. Its awkward speech without pronouns and its awkward with pronouns. I started noticing that I was bothered by strangers using female pronouns all the time. I was refreshed when people have to look at me a couple of times to determine if I am female or if I am male. I found myself hurt that almost no one uses male pronouns with me. I almost never hear male pronouns. With my lovers I ask that they try to mix up my pronouns, although that’s hard for them. Even as Izzy they both struggle with using male pronouns. They don’t impose gender roles but for sure they struggle with using male pronouns. Maybe its their own struggle with understanding sexuality and gender….what lesbian loves men? I know that they try to balance the two with me but I realize our culture doesn’t support people like me.
I was honored to be asked to be a coach for the Amateur Drag Race 2014. First of all, the drag race was where I started a year ago. I was excited to see the newest amateur drag queens and kings and also to have a small piece in helping them develop their personal drag persona. My love for drag has a long history into my early adulthood even before I was out of the closet as a lesbian, butch, gender variant, and now drag king. Drag’s gender bending nature combined with music, creativity, and strong heart has kept me passionate about drag for many years.
Gender is only garb deep. This leads me to separate gender from sex (n). Your sex is indicated by your genitalia, I will not argue with you nor deny that I have a vagina and I am female. But as far as my gender goes….well its flexible. Gender Flexible!
Each time I analyze social gender I come to the obvious question every single time… “Why does it matter?” There is no need for gender in our social world, really there just isn’t. It is just another form of discrimination, like race and orientation.
Come out sister and embrace the babies, they NEED YOU!
Don’t let the transition lead you back into the closet!!
So for my cis sisters, lets support them, they need us. We stand stronger in large numbers and we certainly have information to help them and trans sisters bring messages for us.
All feminists, regardless of your gender need to share hands. We need to stand up and say , “Fuck Gender, who needs it!”
Anyway as far as extreme on either side of the gender spectrum makes me feel constricted, tied up, or even fake in some ways. Often if someone is too much of one side I find that I feel that their fake, maybe I am judgmental, but I don’t trust everything they do for that reason. For me, I just can’t stay on either side to heavily I get wiggly and I can’t sit still. I always break the gender rules – yah I am a butch gardener farmer type, yah I plant little flowerly fairy gardens!! See I break them all the time, I just keep stretching out and crossing boundaries.
This lead me to the free expression of my feminine as I see it. I am a woman, I have a vagina that has given birth to my now 20yo son. Biologically speaking, I am a woman and have shared a body with another living being, I have felt a life spring from within me and venture out into our world.
My gender is just that, its a gender, not binary but instead more like a range. I just don’t get the binary, its confusing to me.