So I been watching Youtube videos and reading books related to transgender issues, stories, and so on. As far as Youtube goes… I am so confused. There seem to be Transmen on there that are saying they are not females, they are not men but something in between, YET they still take hormones and have surgery to look like a man. So do they choose to do this transition in order to appear as transmen, because they DON’T. Once they begin to take hormones and have surgery I would swear they were men until they pulled their pants down. So I don’t get it… Somehow taking the hormones and the surgery make it better for you? How? Your still transgendered!! You even consider yourself to be transgendered! I am so confused!
As for my books I am reading… I was reading a book, “Gender Outlaw” that was saying that the medical field is treating Transgender as a medical problem, fixing it with medications. Is it the individual that needs to be fixed or is it society. And how does growing up as one false gender and then taking meds/surgery to become another false gender help make things better for transmen and transwomen?
It seems that we really need to push the boundaries of gender and really work on seeing if we can’t pin point a few other genders…. and then make them stick.
One tip: When someone has a baby… Don’t ask them what it is… Assume no gender until someone tells you. Try it with strangers, its harder than you think!
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Some genderqueer people take hormones and have surgery, because even though they don’t feel completely male or female, they are uncomfortable with their body as it is. Some people want to look more feminine, and some want to look more masculine. Personally, my ideal for myself is an androgynous look, but flat-chested. Some genderqueer people transition to the “other” gender because they prefer other people to see them and interact with them on the basis of the other gender… in an ideal world, everyone would see you as your preferred gender, and they would see genderqueer people as genderqueer, but as it is, most people only see you as either male or female.
That is something I still ponder myself – about the difference between how other people perceive gender, and how I perceive myself, and if there is really a large gap between those 2 or not, or if they are just different ways of dealing with the same thing. Like, if my guyfriend thinks of me as female (only perceiving 2 genders), yet he knows that I am different from other females, how different is that from perceiving a 3rd gender?
@Dark – I agree that seeing me as a “different type of female” is sort of like a 3rd gender but unfortunately that still leaves us genderqueers feeling as we don’t fit in AND forced to choose one gender or the other on forms and in other situations. I think by just accepting or choosing one of the binary genders we support the binary system but I believe that insisting on being a genderqueer and refusing to choose a gender that we force the binary system to be open minded.
Personally, if I had the financial means to get rid of my breasts, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, I still don’t identify as male. I just know boobs are not for me.
Nearly everyone sees me as a boy. I get called “buddy” by guys, and I’ve had 14 year old girls give me their phone numbers thinking I was a boy their own age!! Being a boy is perfectly fine for me. I like it. But I simply don’t identify as a “man.” Like you, I don’t understand why men act the way they do. Other physical things like facial hair seem gross to me. So why do I feel like getting top surgery, but not taking T? I don’t know.
@ Lee – wish I passed as well as you do. Maybe after I lose weight. I wish i was mistaken for a boy more often. As for the whole removing the boobs but not taking T thing… I totally understand. I firmly believe in a 3rd, 4th, and more gender. I think our culture is way to binary and we are somewhere outside of those two choices. So I am constantly trying to help people understand just how narrow minded it is to have a binary culture in hopes that for the next generation of those like us, it might be at least 3 steps easier. 🙂
I pass until I speak… I have this really girly voice! It tends to confuse people, though most assume I’m a gay and effeminate boy.
My childhood would have been much easier if our society wasn’t so closed minded. How many times have I heard “NO, that is for boys not girls” growing up (shakes fist.) To this day I feel a stab of guilt when I wear boxers or squeeze into my binder. I try to open minds, but it isn’t always easy.
I think losing the weight will help you pass. From what I see of your tiny picture you have a pretty masculine face. Building muscle in your upper body will help too. I started passing consistently after I had been weight lifting for six months.