By Hollis Taylor
There is nothing about drag that is “comfort zone” for me other than my years of simply loving the performances and queens equally. As a performer…. being naked is more comfortable than costumes that change my entire silhouette. My dance is tied to many of those performances simply because it was something I did in live settings. Often as a professional adult entertainer I would be asked to mingle at public parties, I would sit around and chat…then dance around after I had a few drinks. That combined with my video and live performances means that frankly the only thing about DRAG that is my “comfort zone” would be the sexyness of it!
As a young child and through my early adult years I allowed others to pressure me into the ideas that wearing women’s clothing was appropriate. I allowed our culture to define gender for me. Although, since my fascination with drag was so strong somewhere inside I knew. My mother put make up on me, dressed me, made me dresses and put me in little beauty pageants as a baby. I liked the dirt and picking berries in my bare feet. I liked dancing on the coffee table. I liked escaping with my dragon. SHE liked dressing me. As a teenager all of my friends constantly were dressing me, in order to “bring out my feminine side” I hoped they could inspire that “femme” side to come out because I was starting to get worried about the sexual feelings I was having for the girls putting on my make up. After all they were doing this so I could “get a boyfriend” like them. Disappointing to me so much so that I chose the biggest, scariest, safest guy I could find. He NEVER tried to have sex with me… even after 15 years of marriage. Ha! Ha! I was always in control of it and I liked it that way. Through my 20’s I dressed femme for my son, I had to be his mom… I didn’t want him to be an oddball with his peers. I now believe I made a mistake there but I understand the choice and where I was coming from. I was simply lacking wisdom.
So dressing as a male is not comfortable, especially in public. Live performances I have the least experience, typically in the past 15 years everything was on video, which can be edited. I typically love women’s voices so the songs I know so well are often sang by women. Drag is a challenge for me as a performer, all together. Oddly enough though, I think I found a new place to sink my teeth into the performing that I love so much. I hope above everything else in this competition that I walk away with more experiences to build on friendships and keep drag in my lifestyle. To be able to do paid performances would be an honor… I want this way more than I wanted to be a porn star or professional dominatrix.
I realized why Michael Jackson’s performance was such a dam challenge. I was so dam nervous about the entire thing I couldn’t even practice upstairs. There is nothing all that sexy about 13yo Michael in the Jackson 5 singing “A,B,C” Just simply, its not a sexy song. Cute, adorable, fun, energetic yes, but NOT SEXY! I figured it out!! That was why I messed up the lip sync numerous times. It was why I could barely breathe! Hilarious!
As a performer its helpful to know your strengths and weaknesses. This competition is really helping and I know the feedback from the judges is so helpful. All the queens that give me little tidbits. This is the first time I wore a wig and a queen taught me all about them. So sweet, we now share that bonding experience. I have “persona” crushes on the queens… Ok Jade is just gorgeous and I am like a curious cat at Belladonna! Sillyness but playfulness. Its like a magikal night where you become someone else and enter a world where things are just simply different. Performing is so much dam fun!
Well at least now I can clearly label and know my “Comfort zone” Sexy and anything like sex is easy, regardless of gender… although I will admit to being submissive with the Masochism Tango was enough to shake me up during the performance. I like to be in control… but really I was topping from the bottom on that one anyway. *evil laugh*
Here’s my “A,B,C” performance, enjoy!